trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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