"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
