Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
