you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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