Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Come see our sink grown plant.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Such a big mess for such a small penis
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
