I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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