Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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