I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
