i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There r osticjed everywhere
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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