i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
