More tranny stories later!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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