The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
