How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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