I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize