I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
