Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
be right there i have to get my cape
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
