And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
