Porn is love you can see.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
