No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
