That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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