Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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