i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
