i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
