she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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