I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
