i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
