He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
