I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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