I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
3 2 1 whiskey
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize