i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
