Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
