i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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