D3 body, D1 cock
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
being pregnant is like rehab
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
