Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
