I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
