just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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