I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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