i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Your tits are I can't wait for
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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