i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
