Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
