I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
