no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
