Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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