it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
