I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
