You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Two words: blizzard sex
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
