Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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