the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
