Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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