escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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