remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I love you. Go after that dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
