i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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