He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
