the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I want to be your penis for a week.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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