i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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