How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
They took my balls.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The cops high fived after they tackled you
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
