tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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