Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
